Do you have to REPEAT yourself?


Most kids are talented non-listeners. Why? First of all they don’t want to do the ‘boring’ stuff you tell them to do. Video games or legos are waaay more fun. And secondly, they know you’ll end up doing whatever it is you asked of them. How do they know? Expereince has taught them well! You never fail, you ask three times, you scream, most likely you completely lose your cool. Then you feel GUILTY. After that, all bets are off. You’re pretty predictable as a parent.

How do we change this cycle? Just ask your kids ONCE to do something. Say, please pick up your shoes from the middle of the living room by dinnertime. Don’t be disappointed when they don’t ‘hear’ you. In fact, you’d be shocked if they did what you asked, right? Don’t give them a bunch of warnings.

If they don’t take care of the shoes in a reasonable amount of time…then you take care of it for them. You do this quietly after the kids have gone to bed. You take those shoes, put them in the cabinet above the dryer (noone would ever look there) and forget about them.

When your kid is looking for his favorite pair of sneakers all you have to say is this, “That’s too bad, you didn’t pick them up so I had to do it for you. You’re welcome to get them back for $2 (or a toy, or two chores, etc.).” Your kid will flip. It’s okay. Just stay calm and repeat that line over and over. Your kid will start to see that you mean business and THAT’s when they’ll start listening to what you have to say.

Want to learn more Love and Logic parenting tips and tools? Want to take the frustration and exhaustion out of parenting? Keep your eyes peeled for information coming soon! I’ll be holding a CRASH COURSE or two just in time for summer. And, I’m always available for private sessions. To learn more click here.

Try A New Trick.

I’ll bet that you’re a pretty predictable parent. Your kids know what to expect. Here’s a little trick to change things up… It’s pretty easy and a whole lot of fun. Use a little ‘magic’ to turn your NO into a YES. Here are some examples: Can I go out to play? Yes! As soon as your homework is finished. Can I have a treat? Yes! After you eat something healthy. Can we go to the park? Yes, as long as your toys are picked up. When you decide to remove the word NO from every discussion it makes it much more powerful when you really need to use it. So try a new trick. Look for a few ways you can change your no into a yes! Want to learn more Love and Logic® parenting ‘tricks’? Check out my upcoming workshops and private sessions.

Get Organized!

Do you want to teach your child valuable organizing skills? Do you need the parenting tools to get them to follow through? Then this workshop is for you! Charlotte parenting guru Wendy Petricoff and organizing expert Laurie Martin have teamed up to assist you in getting your home and children in order. This workshop will equip you with take-home tips and strategies. You’ll even work on a customized plan to teach your children lifelong organizational skills. Then we’ll give you all the parenting tools you’ll need to make your organizing goals a reality. DATES: February 4, 11 & 18 from 7:00-8:30pm. Held at the JCC, 5007 Providence Road. To register call 704-366-5007.

Time-Out Troubles?

HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING NANNY 911? And did you put a little stool in the corner of your kitchen? Are you calling it the naughty chair? Oh, I hope not!

Parents are always struggling with the concept of TIME-OUT for their kids. They want desperately for their kids ‘pay’ for their mis-doings by sitting still on a tiny stool! First of all, it’s more of a punishment for you to try to keep them on the chair…and secondly I have not yet met the kid that will quietly sit on their rear-end and repent for their sins!

Thankfully, Love and Logic has a plan when it comes to time-outs! It’s called the Uh-oh technique! When Junior smacks the dog with a stick we don’t lecture, we don’t threaten, we don’t warn. We calmly say Uh-oh, pick him up and move him to his room. We send the message that their behavior is not acceptable. And the child is welcome to rejoin us when they can be sweet.

Is this always easy? No! Do kids kick and scream and put up a fight? Yes! Do we want to set limits in a loving way with our children? Of course! Does the Uh-oh technique give us this opportunity. Absolutely.

So here’s the kicker. When kids know that you’ll implement the Uh-oh technique (and your verbal cue is always Uh-oh) that’s when you’ll see their level of compliance go up! It’s a wonderful tool that makes parenting easier in the long run. To learn more about giving time-outs the Love and Logic way join me for the early childhood workshop beginning on Wednesday, October 9th. Sign up today!

New School Year. New Expectations.

As summer winds down and the new school year gets ready to begin it's a great time to set expectations with your kids. 

Take this opportunity to meet with your child and talk through your thoughts, concerns and expectations for the upcoming school year. Be sure to give them some choices and allow them to share their input. It's important to let them feel like they have some control, even if it's on your terms. Here are a few ideas:

  • Give your children a long list of age-appropriate chores. Have them select two or three chores that they prefer and you pick two or three for them to do as well. When they see that they don't have to do the whole list they'll feel some relief, whether they show it or not!
  • Give your child a printed 'chore pass' or two. Once in awhile they should just be able to say, "I'm too tired!" They can redeem their pass when they really need it.
  • Write up a contract detailing technology use. Set limits that work with your schedule and make you feel comfortable. Get input from your child. Be sure to outline consequences for non-compliance!
  • Discuss allowance. Let them know when you will pay (weekly? monthly?) and what you expect them to purchase (school lunch?) or do with their money.
  • Determine when they will do their homework. Is it right after school, before bed or after dinner? Help them get organized and set a schedule that works for everyone. Their buy-in is key.

This school year, look for ways to let your child be involved in decision-making. For more tips on getting off to a great start this school year contact me for private sessions at

Summer Reading Woes

Trouble getting your kids to do their summer reading projects?  Join the club.  Here's a little hint.  Use a Love and Logic enforceable statement.  "Hey honey, happy to take you and your friends to the mall (or insert another exciting event) when I know your summer project is done."  DON'T remind her to do her project.  It's hard, I know.  When she comes looking for that ride to the mall casually ask to see her work.  She won't disappoint you.  She'll make excuses, possibly cry or throw a fit.  Be prepared.  Just repeat your enforceable statement over and over again, "Oh honey, happy to take you and your friends to the Mall when your project is done."

Bedtime Scramble Solved...HOPEFULLY!

Don't know about you all, but my kids are experts are messing around ALL day long and THEN scrambling to get all their chores, homework and important stuff done in the last hour of the day.  It's really started to become a problem.  And then my husband, who has been well trained in the fine art of Love and Logic came up with a brainstorm.  Here it is folks...

"You kids need to be in your beds at 9pm.  Doesn't matter if your homework is unfinished, if your lunch is or isn't packed or if you have to turn off your iphone mid-message.  (get ready for the kicker...) Now, you're welcome to stay out of your bed past 9pm, but for every minute you're out, we'll deduct a dollar from your allowance."  Deliver this in a calm, sincere manner and DON'T get caught up in any further explanations when they start to argue the point.

We've been doing this for a few days now.  So far, so good.  A little crying (nice try).  A little arguing (sorry you feel that way).   I'll let you know if it sticks.  You let me know if you decide to implement this at your own home.  I'd love to hear how it goes.

If you are interested in more great tips and tricks check out my upcoming workshops!

Do You Referee Your Kid's Arguments?

I'll bet you do. And, I'll bet it usually isn't very successful! I would also guess that this particular parental duty leaves you feeling pretty frustrated!

Instead of getting entangled in the mess that your kids have created just put a Love and Logic® encforceable statement to work for you. "I'll be happy to referee any problems you two may have for pre-payment of five dollars."They'll groan. They'll moan. Just use a sincere tone and repeat as necessary. If they take you up on your offer to become the referee, make sure your ruling involves plenty of chores. For more tips on how to manage sibling conflicts join a Parenting with Love and Logic workshop®.

Love and Logic® Workshops Now Enrolling!

Join me for a four week workshop geared to teach you the Love and Logic® tools you need to help put the fun back in parenting. There is something for everyone…Early Childhood and Teen/Tween classes begin in early October.  Register by calling Jewish Family Services during regular business hours at 704-364-6594.  Filled with laughter and lots of real-life stories, the Becoming A Love and Logic Parent® workshop is certain to entertain and educate.  For more information click on workshop details.