Got More Love and Logic® Questions?
New! Register for Becoming a Love and Logic Parent® Refresher Classes for families who have completed the Becoming a Love and Logic Parent® workshop or private sessions! Sign up for this refresher class and bring your questions. We will cover the most common pitfalls and share techniques that will help you stay calm through even the toughest parenting challenges!
Dates: Monday, May 2nd 7:00-8:30 pm OR Friday. May 6th 9:30-11:00 am
Held at the Levine-Sklut Library, located at 5007 Providence Road, Charlotte, NC at Shalom Park.
TO REGISTER: Call Jewish Family Services at (704) 364-6594. Cost is $15 per family.
Handling Disrespect
This week has been interesting. My 8 year old daughter wrote a very disrespectful note to her brother and had been running off at the mouth as well. It bothered both her father and I tremendously. We didn't really know what to do so....we DELAYED the CONSEQUENCES and said "This stinks. (notice the empathy) Your note really upset us and we'll have to figure out what to do about it. Try not to worry."
Parents, you can delay the consequences with kids beginning around age three. Think they won’t remember their naughty behavior? Think again! What happens when you promise them ice cream and forget to deliver?
Well, we really didn't have a great idea at our immediate disposal. But I was paying attention and looking for the right moment. It presented itself like this: My daughter went grocery shopping with me and wanted to pick out some loaded sugar cookies, you know the ones, with the icing, sprinkles, etc. They were pink...perfect!
We took them home and of course the kids wanted them for dessert that evening. I looked at her and said, "Oh, this is so sad. When sweet things come out of your mouth, sweet things can go in." I had heard that line on one of my Love and Logic® CD’s and decided it fit perfectly!
Oh don't worry, she had a fit. She tried to open the cookies and take one. I looked at her and said, "Oh, I'd hate to see what happens if you try that. Man, it would probably be bad." She stomped away, defeated and wound up crying for about 1/2 an hour in her room. It wasn't fun, but I had a plan, kept my cool and followed through with the consequences. So far, she has been much more respectful. I'll let you know if that lasts...
Sign up for an upcoming workshop
Held at the Levine-Sklut Library, located at 5007 Providence Road, Charlotte, NC at Shalom Park.
Early Childhood classes
Tuesday mornings May 3, 10, 17 and 24 9:30-11:30
Tuesday nights May 3, 10, 17 and 24 7-9 pm
[button link="http://174.132.90.7/~charlot/registration/" color="green"]Click here to register[/button]
Published in South Charlotte Macaroni Kid February, 2011
No More Arguments!
Have your kids learned the fine art of how to get you to argue with them? If they are worth their salt, then they probably have! When your kids are looking for an argument, remember this quick little tip...Don't Engage and Don't Argue with the Ridiculous! Learn how to neutralize your child's arguing by using a Love and Logic® one-liner like, "I love you too much to argue." or "Not an option." Remember to keep your cool because most children only argue about RIDICULOUS things! Repeat the same one-liner over and over if you need to. If your child won't stop trying to engage you in an argument, change your location and use this line, "Hey sweetie, come find me when your voice is as calm as mine and you have something fun to talk about." This is a great way to show your kids that you can handle them without breaking a sweat!
For more information about Love and Logic check out www.LoveandLogic.com . For a full listing of upcoming workshops in Charlotte click on www.charlotteparentingsolutions.com.
Published In South Charlotte Macaroni Kid October 7, 2010.
Dinner Is Served
My 16 year old daughter Brit could never seem to make it to the table for family dinner. After attending the third class of the Love and Logic Workshop for Teens I got a great idea and decided to experiment. There she was, as usual, in her room talking on her cell-phone with the boyfriend. I said, “Dinner is served for the next twenty minutes. Feel free to join us.” I had made one of Brit’s favorite meals, knowing that she would be disappointed if she didn’t get to eat it. And, as usual Brit, came to the dinner table about a half hour later. Dinner was cleaned up. The leftovers were put into a fridge that has a lock on it. I told her, “You are welcome to make a sandwich or join us for breakfast in the morning”. She flipped-out. But she was at the dinner on-time the very next night and hasn’t been late since!!
Submitted by J.B., Brit’s Mom and a Graduate of Becoming a Love and Logic Parent for Teens
-Charlotte, NC
One Parent's Journey
A Love and Logic® Workshop Review
written by Sharla Collins
Love and Logic® Workshop Graduate and mom to 3 year old Jackson
- Charlotte, NC
When things started to really seem tough (I got to the point where I really thought I should just never take J out in public with any kind of expectations for a positive experience…and yes, sobbing was involved.), my friend finally convinced me that I needed to try the workshop. She assured me that I would find benefits with the approach and techniques that were taught, and the “group therapy”-like setting would help to bring some comfort during these trying terrible twos.
So I signed up for the upcoming workshop, which was 4 sessions of 2-hour classes, over a 5 week period. I really didn’t know what to expect, but the class turned out to be AMAZING and I am so happy I finally went through with it. My class was small, around 7 or 8 parents, and many of them had toddlers / preschoolers. It was very encouraging to hear “horror stories” of other parents having problems, and know that I was not alone. It was also a nice non-judgmental atmosphere for sharing tips and advice on things that might work with each other’s problems. “Oh, your kid won’t sleep at night? Try this!…but tell me, how the heck do you get her to take medicine???”
After starting to feel overwhelmed with Jackson’s tantrums and meltdowns a few months ago, I finally decided it was time to try something different. A friend had been encouraging me to try a local parenting workshop that she had done when her boys were younger – I was intrigued.
The teacher was fabulous, and she had so many great ideas, tips, and advice. She was engaging, funny, and kept me intrigued for the entire class, always looking forward to learning more. The structure of the classes flowed nicely as well, which is definitely to the teacher’s credit, since she crafted her own sequence of topics that didn’t follow the issued workbook’s order exactly. Also, her personal anecdotes of her own parenting challenges and success stories really stood out. While maintaining the image as parenting expert, she also made everyone feel better about our own issues and shortcomings by sharing examples of her own challenges. One of the resonating ideas that she taught in the class, is that we often have to work against our natural instincts in parenting, and sometimes those instincts just come out automatically. Most importantly, she let us know that it’s ok to not be perfect and make mistakes occasionally (this was something none of my parenting books really imparted upon me … my perfectionistic persona was struggling with achieving 100% consistency and efficacy, which is absolutely unrealistic in theory! I just needed a real person to make me realize this… duh!).
In summary, things got *much* better with Jackson after I started implementing some things from the class, and started actively trying to be a consultant parent. I think both of us are a lot more calm in general, and J’s tantrums and meltdowns slowed down significantly, in quantity, magnitude, and duration!
I can’t say it enough – if you are in the Charlotte area, I highly recommend checking out Wendy’s workshop!
Henry & The Toy in Target
Today we took 3 year-old Henry to Target to get a new batman toy. He had a really good week at school, church and gymnastics so we had been promising him he could pick out a new batman to go with the set at home.
We got there and Dad had told him he could choose a little batman. We stressed that this was just a small toy. (As not to reward him with huge toys every time he has good behavior.)
They picked a small one out together, but then on the way down the aisle, Henry spotted a fancier one that he insisted that he needed. He started to throw a fit about keeping it. I was going to just take it from him, but Dad said, "Just let him carry it to the register." So we did. Once we got up there, Henry placed it on the counter next to the one Dad was buying. Dad told the guy at the register what was going on (and two moms of older kids standing behind us in line told us how smart we were to do this now).
Dad paid for the small batman and then Henry went to try and put the big one in the bag. The guy at the register told him he needed to pay for it. So then Dad and I asked him if he had any money, to which he replied No. Then Dad said, "Oh this is sad. Daddy said he could only buy the small batman, so if you want this one, you will have to pay for it yourself".
Well, he couldn’t pay so the man had to take it from him. Of course there were lots of tears (and lots of sympathy) but it was still much easier than wrestling the toy out of his arms in the aisle when he originally picked it out.
Submitted by Amy, Henry’s Mom and a Graduate of Becoming a Love and Logic Parent, Early Childhood
-Charlotte, NC
What is Parenting with Love and Logic®?
Would you like to feel great about the parenting choices you make? I invite you to start making positive parenting changes that matter. Changes that help you preserve a strong relationship with your child. Changes that can bring more peace to your home. Changes that can help reduce your stress and anxiety.
I invite you to join me for either private sessions or a workshop to help you become the CONFIDENT parent you want to be. I believe that children want parents who are credible, thoughtful and calm. Parents who set limits in a loving way.
I can help you become the parent that you want to be. What are you waiting for?