Handling Disrespect

This week has been interesting. My 8 year old daughter wrote a very disrespectful note to her brother and had been running off at the mouth as well. It bothered both her father and I tremendously. We didn’t really know what to do so….we DELAYED the CONSEQUENCES and said “This stinks. (notice the empathy) Your note really upset us and we’ll have to figure out what to do about it. Try not to worry.” Parents, you can delay the consequences with kids beginning around age three.  Think they won’t remember their naughty behavior?  Think again!  What happens when you promise them ice cream and forget to deliver? Well, we really didn’t have a great idea at our immediate disposal. But I was paying attention and looking for the right moment. It presented itself like this: My daughter went grocery shopping with me and wanted to pick out some loaded sugar cookies, you know the ones, with the icing, sprinkles, etc. They were pink…perfect! We took them home and of course the kids wanted them for dessert that evening. I looked at her and said, “Oh, this is so sad. When sweet things come out of your mouth, sweet things can go in.” I had heard that line on one of my Love and Logic® CD’s and decided it fit perfectly! Oh don’t worry, she had a fit. She tried to open the cookies and take one. I looked at her and said, “Oh, I’d hate to see what happens if you try that. Man, it would probably be bad.” She stomped away, defeated and wound up crying for about 1/2 an hour in her room. It wasn’t fun, but I had a plan, kept my cool and followed through with the consequences. So far, she has been much more respectful. I’ll let you know if that lasts… Sign up for an upcoming workshop Held at the Levine-Sklut Library, located at 5007 Providence Road, Charlotte, NC  at Shalom Park. Early Childhood classes Tuesday mornings May 3, 10, 17 and 24  9:30-11:30 Tuesday nights  May 3, 10, 17 and 24 7-9 pm [button link=”” color=”green”]Click here to register[/button]   Published in South Charlotte Macaroni Kid February, 2011